tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3375512083268389933.post3529644961695955613..comments2023-09-30T10:36:23.154-05:00Comments on Accidental Historian: Self Fulfilling ProphecyGedshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047239425466517786noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3375512083268389933.post-25286498432502873962009-03-23T14:21:00.000-06:002009-03-23T14:21:00.000-06:00PF: One of the things that slowly dawned on me ab...PF: One of the things that slowly dawned on me about the particular member of the female gender above is that we were both pretty broken. But I think we both recognized the problems in the other more than we recognized them in ourselves.<BR/><BR/>I used to be big in to the whole seeing people as they could be thing, too. My death spiral in Christianity that was followed immediately by the relationship pretty much killed any desire to keep doing that. People are who they are and I've realized that my perception of another doesn't matter if perception doesn't match to reality. If I couldn't live with her as she was (and her with me, for that matter) then I couldn't live with her period. It sucks, but sometimes you just have to let go, y'know?<BR/><BR/>Fiat: Um, I'd love to answer your question re: my beard, but I have no clue what the hell you're talking about.<BR/><BR/>However, now that it's warm again I'm thinking of shaving the dome and dropping down to a goat. I've always wanted to rock the evil overlord look...Gedshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15047239425466517786noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3375512083268389933.post-87154574128595182702009-03-22T13:38:00.000-06:002009-03-22T13:38:00.000-06:00Good post. I like reading what comes out when you ...Good post. I like reading what comes out when you get all introspective and junk, even though it makes me want to cheer you up. So hey! You are this cool tall guy in shades whose half-shaven beard always manages to look sophisticated rather than unkempt! How do you do that?<BR/><BR/>PF, I admire enormously the thing you did with beautifulness. People like to gab about "mind over matter" but exercising "mind over mind" is way harder, and seems to me is done less often. <BR/><BR/>I still, somewhere in there, have an "annoying weirdo who won't shut up" label. I put a lot of work into learning how to be charming and funny, but changing the way I behaved didn't help me be any less freakishly insecure. As Geds can attest. No matter that, in real life, most of the time, I'm a nice person other people enjoy being around. I still suck at keeping friends because I have this deep, sneaky belief that eventually they'll figure out they've been duped into hanging out with some weirdo nobody likes. <BR/><BR/>Good point also, Geds, about how we hate people when they live out the worst things we see in ourselves. I've been going through a whole re-evaluating my feelings about Christianity thing. Part of trying to change my relationship dynamic with my family. And I've discovered the things that piss me off most about Christian behavior are the condescending jackasseries I engaged in when I was a Christian myself. I see people mimicking the attitudes and behaviors that make me want to travel back through time and punch myself. So I want to punch them instead, by proxy. Because, y'know, we don't know how to do time travel and it may be impossible.Fiat Lexhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10441862977921307080noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3375512083268389933.post-59446019632363038282009-03-20T08:10:00.000-06:002009-03-20T08:10:00.000-06:00I also have to say this- I date big guys. I just d...I also have to say this- I date big guys. I just do. Some guys like blondes, some guys like black chicks, I like big guys.<BR/><BR/>But, for the reasons you mentioned, it can be frustrating.<BR/><BR/>I absolutely loved this one guy, we'll call him Alan. I though Alan was the greatest- but I tend to see people as they could be, not as they necessarily are.<BR/><BR/>Alan kept going on and on about all the things he would do with his life if he could just lose 100 lbs. All of these things were things he do at his present weight. <BR/><BR/>Finally, I realized that the "if I just lost 100 lbs" was an excuse. He was afraid to fail, and "I'm too fat to try" made a good excuse. We broke up after I told him to either lose the 100 lbs or get on with his life with the 100 lbs, but to stop excusing himself from trying.<BR/><BR/>Alan likes to tell people that being skinny, I just don't know what it's like to be fat. Fair enough, but colleges don't have a weight requirement.PersonalFailurehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03034292023591747601noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3375512083268389933.post-83948926226374300412009-03-20T07:51:00.000-06:002009-03-20T07:51:00.000-06:00*sigh*I am not traditionally pretty. If we're bein...*sigh*<BR/><BR/>I am not traditionally pretty. If we're being fair, I'm cute, at best. One day, I got sick of hating myself, hating my face, hating my nose, and decided "fuck it. I'm beautiful."<BR/><BR/>I pretended in my head that I was this irresistably desirable creature, a force of nature that cannot be denied. The longer I did it, the more I believed it, and the funny thing was, people seem to buy it.<BR/><BR/>I'm not wandering about convinced of my own superiority acting like a supersluttybitch, but I have to say, believing in my own beauty seems to have made me beautiful.<BR/><BR/>It helps not to look in a mirror much when I do this, because the mirror, it lies. It shows me things I don't want to see, but then again, maybe I'm just seeing what I want to. And I want to hate myself for some reason.PersonalFailurehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03034292023591747601noreply@blogger.com