Men either overcompensate for their wound and become driven (violent men), or they shrink back and go passive (retreating men). Often it's an odd mixture of both. Witness the twin messages sported by young college-age men especially: a goatee, which says, "I'm kind of dangerous," and a baseball hat turned backward, which says, "But really I'm a little boy, don't require anything of me." Which is it? Are you strong, or are you weak?" --John Eldredge, Wild at Heart (74)This is what I like to call John Eldredge making shit up when he doesn't have a clue. He makes an observation about the nature of facial hair and headgear and decides that his observation is useful and authoritative. For the record, I have a beard. There is a reason I have a beard. I think it defines my chin line. No, seriously. I don't want to be a lumberjack. I don't want anyone to think I'm a big, burly man. I think that my chin is better defined with a bit of hair marking the space. I also tend, when I'm wearing my White Sox hat I tend to wear it backwards. Back in May I got mocked at a Local H show by Scott Lucas, who seemed to think I was sending a message that I like Limp Bizket, so I was trying to look like Fred Durst. Scott Lucas was about as on point as John Eldredge is about my reasons for wearing my hat backwards. I, uh, I don't like having the brim up at the top of my field of vision. Side note: back when I was dismantling my religion I was talking to a certain member of the female gender. I told her I was thinking of going atheist. She claimed that I was just doing that to avoid taking responsibility (for what, I don't recall. I don't think she had anything, either). Um, never claim that I'm trying to avoid taking responsibility, whether you're John Eldredge or someone I'm trying to convince myself I'm in love with. Also, I hated this thought from the beginning. Of course, sometimes he stops being an asshole and just gets downright asinine.
A woman is a captivating thing. More captivating than anything else in all creation. "The naked woman's body is a portion of eternity too great for the eye of man." [He said without bothering to explain why his words are in quote] Femininity can arouse masculinity. Boy oh boy can it. My wife flashes me a little breast, a little thigh, and I'm ready for action. All systems alert. She tells me in a soft voice that I'm a man and I'll leap tall buildings for her. But femininity can never bestow masculinity. It's like asking a pearl to give you a buffalo. It's like asking a field of flowers to give you a '57 Chevy. They are different substances entirely. --John Eldredge, Wild at Heart (93) [emphasis his]Um, I really don't know what to do with this. The similes are astoundingly bad. But the introduction seems to make a point that Eldredge doesn't actually know what the fuck he's talking about. My friend points out something I've never noticed. Eldredge makes sexual arousal a metaphor for masculinity. That's, um, that's a pretty lousy parallel to draw and a guy writing a book about masculinity should know better. I guess it's a good thing he makes lousy analogies. They tell us way more about what he actually thinks than he really wants to let on. So we've got that going for us.