John Banta, a project leader for New York-based Consumer Reports, said LEDs provide more benefits than just energy savings. "They run cooler, so there's less of a chance of a fire hazard," Banta said. "They're much more durable and they did last longer."Yeah, leave it to the anti-Christmas coalition to point out that safety is more important than celebrating the birth of the baby Jesus the way they did it in the Bible: with multi-colored incandescent bulbs and big, plastic Santas. It doesn't seem that anyone has connected this to the secular plot to keep Jesus out of Christmas yet. But it's only a matter of time before the baby Jesus gets thrown out like a string of broken Christmas lights. And we just can't let that happen. ----------------------------------- *Actual quote from the article: "When you're finding shards of purple glass in the summer when you mow the grass, you can remember the fun you had at Christmas," he said. "There's a certain nostalgia to having those big glass bulbs that we put up as a kid." I know I sure as hell never remember last Christmas unless I'm getting shards of Christmas light bulb shoved in to the sole of my bare foot. EDIT: Huh. Blogger ate a word and an asterisk. Stupid Blogger. **Oh. My. God. I just realized this is all part of the bigger plot to sell us on Global Warming. If the world gets hotter there won't be any snow to cool the Christmas lights and all the houses will burn down! This is big, people. We're on to something here.
Monday, December 21, 2009
Onward, Christmas Soldiers!
There's a new front opening in the War on Christmas and we need to get out ahead of it fast, people. That's right, a new Grinchly item is sapping all of our Christmas spirit and making the holidays less jolly. What's that item, you might ask? LED Christmas lights. Yes, that's right. Those new-fangled LED Christmas lights just don't have the oomph, the je ne sais quoi, the Christmas jocularity of the old incandescents. And the way they're all made of shatter-proof plastic instead of easily breakable glass just can not stand.* Of course the news organizations found it necessary to make sure that we know what's really important: safety. As if houses can actually catch on fire in the cold. Come on. It's Christmas, that means it's snowing.**