John Banta, a project leader for New York-based Consumer Reports, said LEDs provide more benefits than just energy savings. "They run cooler, so there's less of a chance of a fire hazard," Banta said. "They're much more durable and they did last longer."Yeah, leave it to the anti-Christmas coalition to point out that safety is more important than celebrating the birth of the baby Jesus the way they did it in the Bible: with multi-colored incandescent bulbs and big, plastic Santas. It doesn't seem that anyone has connected this to the secular plot to keep Jesus out of Christmas yet. But it's only a matter of time before the baby Jesus gets thrown out like a string of broken Christmas lights. And we just can't let that happen. ----------------------------------- *Actual quote from the article: "When you're finding shards of purple glass in the summer when you mow the grass, you can remember the fun you had at Christmas," he said. "There's a certain nostalgia to having those big glass bulbs that we put up as a kid." I know I sure as hell never remember last Christmas unless I'm getting shards of Christmas light bulb shoved in to the sole of my bare foot. EDIT: Huh. Blogger ate a word and an asterisk. Stupid Blogger. **Oh. My. God. I just realized this is all part of the bigger plot to sell us on Global Warming. If the world gets hotter there won't be any snow to cool the Christmas lights and all the houses will burn down! This is big, people. We're on to something here.
Monday, December 21, 2009
Onward, Christmas Soldiers!
There's a new front opening in the War on Christmas and we need to get out ahead of it fast, people. That's right, a new Grinchly item is sapping all of our Christmas spirit and making the holidays less jolly. What's that item, you might ask?
LED Christmas lights.
Yes, that's right. Those new-fangled LED Christmas lights just don't have the oomph, the je ne sais quoi, the Christmas jocularity of the old incandescents. And the way they're all made of shatter-proof plastic instead of easily breakable glass just can not stand.*
Of course the news organizations found it necessary to make sure that we know what's really important: safety. As if houses can actually catch on fire in the cold. Come on. It's Christmas, that means it's snowing.**
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6 comments:
Yes! LED lights are part of the Liberal, Socialist plot against Christmas! I have three sets of multicolored LED icicle lights strung across the front of the house. They look great, don't break, and cost next to nothing to run. How un-Christmas can you get?
I love my LEDs! Cheap, hard to break and won't set my wooden house on fire.
But I'm all godless and liberal like that.
I haven't seen the 2-inch incandescents that the article refers to in years. I thought those went the way of the bubble lights. (Speaking of fire hazards...)
Well, I think this wins the prize for the most insane thing I have read so far this week.
I have to agree with Leigh, complete insanity.
I went out last year and bought nine strings of brand-new 50 LED lights. For my 6.5' Christmas tree. It's pretty awesome, especially since I needed one of those welding masks to look directly at the tree. I'll admit the older, yellowish lights on my parents' tree do somehow seem more Christmas-y, but it's more because those are the lights I remember from all those years ago, not because they're somehow inherently more infused with the Christmas spirit. Besides, I like the LEDs. They're a good thing.
Of course this year I went full-on heathen and didn't set up a tree. It's because I didn't want to deal with the hassle of decorating while preparing for a January move, but, y'know...
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