Thursday, April 1, 2010

Important Announcement

I’ve been hesitant to bring this up, since I’ve spent the last couple years working to establish my voice amongst the chorus of the internet skeptical community, but a major change has occurred in my life and I feel I can’t continue pretending any more.  I know that this will probably result in quite a bit of anger directed towards me, but it’s the sort of thing I’ve come to expect from the internet in general and the self-congratulatory “enlightened” skeptical community in particular.  Still, I hope that those who have come to read my blog will continue to do so, as I hope to be able to use this blog to offer hope and solace in the coming days.

In order to properly understand what I am talking about, I believe you need to understand the complete story.

See, many years ago I believed God had called me in to the ministry.  I believed god had also called me to attend Dallas Theological Seminary to get my M.Div.  But that plan was derailed when I went for my undergraduate degree.

I made a choice, but not one of faith.  I was worried about paying for college, so I chose to go to a state school rather than rely on God to provide the funds for me to attend a Christian school.  The Bible tells us that when we rely on our own understanding instead of relying on God’s we lose His divine protection and He removes the “hedge of protection” that surrounds us and protects us from the schemes of the Devil.

And I now realize that the Devil got to me at Western Illinois University.  I was enthralled by that liberal institution.  Worse, the only group of Christians I could find to fellowship with were, themselves, the wrong kind of Christian.  They did not follow Jesus in the right way and, as such, did not present a proper witness to the glory of God.  Because of this I drifted away.  It is important to be refreshed by the Spirit of the Lord daily, and it’s very hard to get that refreshment without others to surround and help you.  The Bible says that “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another,” after all.

God tried to keep me in the fold.  He sent a wonderful woman in to my life who made it very clear she could not be with me if I wasn’t going to remain in the fold.  He had my friends from church track me down even after I’d made it clear I wanted nothing to do with the church.  Such is the passionate, constant love of God that pursues us, even in to the Valley of the Shadow of Death.

The problem was that I would not listen.  Leaning still on my own, fallible, human understanding I wandered farther and farther in to that Valley.  So, finally, God did the one thing that could possibly get my attention.

He sent me to Dallas.

Really, when I think about it, there’s no way that I could have possibly ended up here if it weren’t the will of God.  The circumstances by which I got my job are filled with many “coincidences.”  The fact that my company had offices in Dallas, but nowhere else in the country outside of Chicago also couldn’t possibly have been anything other than the work of God.  And, of course, the fact that my company saw fit to send my job specifically to Dallas couldn’t have been mere happenstance, either.

I decided I’d better start listening to God again once I got down here.  I asked Him to send me to a church.

The first weekend I was here I asked God to lead me to a church.  I got on the road on Sunday morning and headed in the direction of a couple churches I’d seen the day before.  The first one just didn’t seem right, neither did the second.  The third was Catholic, so it didn’t count.  Then I turned a corner and saw a Bible Church and literally felt God say, “Go there.”

I walked in during the sermon.  The pastor was giving a message entitled, “Lean Not on Your Own Understanding.”  I knew right then and there that there was a reason I was there.

The next week I met an amazing woman named Emma.  She invited me to a mid-week Bible study and afterwards we went out for ice cream.  The following week the pastor had an altar call and I went up to re-dedicate my life to Christ.  After the service Emma told me that she’d been praying for me.  I said, “I know.”  The smile on her face could have lit the entire room.

As it turns out, Emma’s father is a professor at Dallas Theological Seminary.  I’ve taken that as a sign and am working on my application to the school for the Fall term.  This may force me to quit my job, but I am certain that God has plans in place for me and will bless me in this decision.

Emma and I have also realized that God put us in each others’ lives for a reason, too.  Last Saturday I asked her father for permission to ask for her hand in marriage, then after church on Sunday I asked her to marry me.  She said yes.

I couldn’t share this joyous news with my wider circle of friends until I was able to inform my family.  But I suppose it’s fitting that I was able to make the announcement on this particular day, seeing as how it’s Maundy Thursday and tomorrow is Good Friday.

Either way, I’m excited, I’m a little frightened, but I’m mostly confident, especially since the risen Savior is once again in command of my life.

I plan on keeping Accidental Historian up in hopes that I can use my story as a tool to witness and bring more glory to God.  But there will be a few changes.  I’m going to refrain from the use of four-letter words.  I will no longer glorify the consumption of alcohol.  I will continue to write my After the Flood posts, but the focus will now be to show how Bill Cooper is correct and the Devil has been clouding the minds of historians through the evil practice of post-modernism.

And to the members of the Accidental Historian Appreciation Society: Dallas Area Chapter, I’d like to offer my sincere apologies.  I hate to think that my witness to you has been tainted by the way I have misrepresented myself to you.  It is but a weakness of the flesh and a temptation of the Devil.  Please know that you are all in my and Emma’s prayers and we’re hoping that God will be able to use this time to bring you back to His loving arms as He has me.

God bless.


The Woeful Budgie said...

*applause* Nicely done, sir!

Also, I take it you'll be voting Palin in 2012, yes?

Michael Mock said...

Naturally; once he gets married, he'll have to re-register as a Republican.

You have made me see the light! I, too, shall renounce my evil ways and turn again to the one who offers me comfort, solace, and forgiveness: Jameson.

Well done!

Geds said...

Budgie: You betcha!

Michael: Have I taught you nothing? The power of the Spirit is best known through single malt. Specifically Clynelish, due to its connection to Saint Roger...

Fake Al Gore said...

I'm not afraid to admit it...

I actually LOL'd. (Yes, I even used the abbreviation so popular with the young crowd today.)

Send a little of St. Roger's finest my way, why don't you?

Geds said...

Done and done. Y'know, just as soon as I figure out where to get a bottle...

Adrenalin Tim said...

This is eerily good.

I knew what it was, and still my heart sank a little bit towards the middle.

It wasn't until you said you'd continue AtF that I felt safe to truly laugh.

Well done.

Geds said...

I have to admit, I felt kinda bad right around the middle of that post. It's a little frightening how fluent I still am in Christianese and Evangelical self-justification.

Also, I probably shouldn't have posted it on Facebook. I think tomorrow's going to have to involve the annual Day After April Fools' apology.

I'm thinking something like, "If I've done something that's confused and pissed you off and you've known me less than, say, four years I'd like to apologize. And I'll be happy to explain. If you're pissed off at me and I've known you for longer than that, there's a really good chance that was part of the plan."

bluefrog said...

If it hadn't been for the date of your post, I would be feeling really dismayed right now. You're way too good at Fundamentalist-speak.

word verification (no, really): squat

Geds said...

Hey, what can I say? Christianese is my native language.

Actually, the funny thing is that I toned it down. I was worried that if I did any more of, y'know, that, it would be immediately detected as satire.

PersonalFailure said...

For a second there, I thought I was going to have to hitchhike to Dallas- then I realized that even living on the buckle of the bible belt takes longer to have an effect than that.

GailVortex said...

*golf clap*

I suspected what the content would be immediately, but you hit every note solidly. Your fluency in Evangelispeak is formidable.

[Were you an XRT listener? Yesterday's on-air April Fool's prank was the lamest I can remember them doing.]

Geds said...

PF: Whatever. You're just mad because you know I was telling the truth and you just hate god so much that you don't want to hear it. But its okay. Jesus still loves you, even though you hate Him.

If you do come to Dallas I'll personally take you to my new church so we can really show you God's love.

(Gaah. That actually hurt. Also, weirdly, the hardest thing to do in this entire bit was remembering to capitalize all the god noun stuff.)

GV: I generally only listened to XRT when there weren't any other options. Q101 for life! Also, The Blaze. Remember The Blaze?

Please, though, feel free to fill me in on their April Fools' prank. I'm sure that it's below the dumbest thing I can imagine.

Geds said...

If you do come to Dallas I'll personally take you to my new church so we can really show you God's love.

Also, that sounds really, really creepy. I mean, really creepy.

Michael Mock said...

PF - hey, come on down. My idea of Holy Spirit is more like Holy Spirits (bless that whiskey!), and the altar tends to be long enough that you can set a whole bunch of stools in front of it.

Admittedly, I'm a bit of a schismatic; Geds has taught the truth of the single malt, but I still prefer a decent Irish whiskey. Hallelujah!

jessa said...

That's fantastic. I wonder how many Evangelicals read this and believed every bit of it, even knowing you for a long time. Oh Christian-logic, you are so full of crap.

Geds said...

I still prefer a decent Irish whiskey.


Unless you're filled with the proper spirits you're an enemy of right, truth, and not a real American. But we'll forgive you if you forsake of your evil ways and partake of the blessed single malt. Now let us pray as St. Roger taught us:

Our whisky
Which art from Scotland
Lagavulin be thy name
Thy smoothness come
Thy taste be yum
With rocks as well as neat
Give us this day our daily pour
And forgive those who spill you
As we try to forgive ourselves
And lead us not in to cheap imitation
But deliver us from Bushmills
For thine is warmth, the wonder, and the smoothness forever

Geds said...

Also, if there's a hell, I think I just bought a guaranteed, non-refundable ticket. And the worst thing is that I'm regretting going with Lagavulin in the Scotch's Prayer, since it doesn't roll quite as well as a 2 syllable, like Clynelish...


I'm actually wondering if this is going to lead to another round of passive-aggressive Facebook emails. Starting in about a month...

Michael Mock said...

Teacher of False Orthodoxy! You cannot deny the truth of the Holy Trinity: Jameson, Bushmills, and Tullamore Dew.

Still, if I must partake of Scotch, let it be from the sacred chalice of Glendronach. I was actually in Scotland the first time I had that, and while the flavor is still very much Scotch, I will confess to a certain sentimental attachment.

Hm. Turns out I'm more of a Universalist than I realized.

jessa said...

Oh passive-aggression! You are such an appropriate communication skill for all situations. You are the epitome of turning the other cheek and loving your neighbor. Oh yes! I'm so glad that the very people who encourage honesty in relationships use you the most, otherwise this would be hypocritical and annoying.

Janet said...

*shudder* Good god. I could actually feel the world shrinking as I read it. The words of a domesticated creature, running from feral freedom to the comfort of a familiar crate. Let them never slam the bars upon us.

It is, however, important to remember that falling in love makes you daft. Never was I more aware of higher order in the universe than in those twitterpated moments.

Anonymous said...

and here I thought you had really really, REALLY came to saving faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. :)

Fluency in the language of Evangelicalism will always lurk somewhere in your brain. It's a curse. :)

Geds said...

Janet: Fortunately for everyone involved, I'm terrible at falling in love.

Actually, I think I used to be pretty good at it. Now...not so much. I blame women. Specifically the women I've fallen in love with. And I blame myself for having bad taste.

Bruce: You're back!

I saw your new blog a couple weeks ago, but hadn't gotten around to setting up Disqus to say hello. So, um, hello. Hope you're doin' okay.

Anonymous said...


I gave up on Disqus. Too many "missing" comments. So I am just using the generic Wordpress comments with a few plug-ins.