Friday, January 22, 2010

Quick Question

I'll get back to somewhat regular blogging soon. I still have at least two posts left in the Breaking the Master Narrative series and I intend to weigh in on Pat Robertson's statements about Haiti and the Trijicon ACOG Bible verse bullshit (at the same time, with a wider perspective. I'm way behind the curve on the whole "quick outrage" thing and anyone can do that, anyway...). But for the moment I have a deeply important question: Will I become immune to the idea of seeing conventionally hot, blond cheerleader types everywhere I go in Dallas at some point? I mean, I was at a place called Cool River last night and it was like someone unleashed the Fembots for a Thursday night of $15 cocktails (seriously, it was, like, $16.25 for a Bookers. Bookers is good bourbon, but that's friggin' nuts. And don't get me started on paying $25 for a decent MacCallan vintage. I can buy a damn bottle of MacCallan 18 for $125 for the love of crap. On a totally unrelated note, I bought a bottle of Lagavulin 18 before I came down. Turns out that was a prescient decision, since I can find Lagavulin 16 all over the place but no 18. I miss Binny's). Oh, and there was that one old dude who was probably the Senior Vice President in charge of Purchasing for some company or other who was just breakin' it down on the dance floor. You've got to love it when the corporate types go all Breakin' II: Electric Boogaloo on the last night of the convention before they have to get back on the plane... But, seriously, what's up with the blond cheerleader types in Dallas? Are they Fembots? I mean, I know there's at least a 50-50 chance they're armed, anyway, but do just have Glocks or do machine guns pop out of their jumblies? Inquiring minds want to know. I'd also like to know if I'll hit a point where I'm totally immune to attractive blond women and develop an attraction to girls with strange facial deformities or something just on the principle that unique is attractive. Does that happen?


Michael Mock said...

In the area you're in... yes, they're fembots. Only brunettes are safe...

Geds said...

So that would explain why there was a guy in with an eyepatch carrying a girl out who was stuffed in a suitcase last night. It also totally explains why the words "Dr. Evil's Secret Lair" are inscribed on the sign over one of the subdivisions down the street. I've been wondering about those weird little details.

And I suppose it's fortunate I tend to prefer brunettes, anyway.

PersonalFailure said...

When I moved from Texas to PA, I was seriously weirded out by the lack of (a) BIG blonde hair, (b) BIG fake boobs and (c) bedazzled denim.

Eventually, you do get used to it.

GailVortex said...

Women--or perhaps I should say "ladies"--in Texas go through a lot of money, time and frequently suffering to get that Standardized Blonde Bombshell look.

Why you might wonder about that as a priority marks you as Not From Around Here in places (i.e., churches, certain bars) where there's a high percentage of Born In Texas types.

Me, when I lived in Dallas, knew about two people--outside of church acquaintances--who had been born in Texas. [And one was just a technicality, because he was a military brat whose father was stationed in Texas at the time.]

Geds said...


It's funny you mention the effort and the not-from-Texas folks.

So far most of the people I've met aren't from Texas, or at least not from Dallas. As best I can tell it's an entire city of immigrants, many of whom seem to be taking shelter from the Great Lakes region.

And I was having a conversation with Big A on the topic of all the effort put in to appearances. It's funny how I'm here in the big, silver belt buckle of the Bible Belt and everyone seems to not realize that the Bible says "the lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance but the lord looks at the heart."

It's like they use some different kind of Bible or something...

Fiat Lex said...

Geds, you of all people should know that people pay attention to the parts of the goode booke they want to.

Of course you'll get used to the girl scenery! I got used to the fact that the hottest folks who come to my Dominick's are the Justin Timberlake looking gay guys who shop with their not-so-attractive partners. XD Also college chicks with highlights and noserings.

I look forward to your return to blogostuff!

Dave said...

Abundant blondes with big fake tits... affordable booze.

:::weighs hands against each other:::

In a close decision, we're going with affordable booze here. Nobody should ever have to pay 15 bucks for less than three cocktails, and for the other, there's always the internet plus imagination.

Full disclosure, I more or less worship blondes with big fake tits. This was actually a tough one.

Fake Al Gore said...

You'll find the cheap booze soon. I happy hour with some co-workers at The Grapevine off of Maple near Oak Lawn. I pay $2.50 for a vodka sour. I don't know about their whiskey selection, though.

Oh, and my, you have some excellent taste in Scotch. I love how a Lagavulin tastes. That smokey flavor... mmm... My favorite affordable Scotch is a Glenmorangie 18 right now.

Is the Londoner a full bar? Do they have good Scotch? I've never been.